Forgive me. I could not gather the strength, To wear that smiling mask. You know the one that fits so well. No one notices the tears welling in my eyes. They don’t look into my pupils and see my pain. Everyone calls me pleasant and cheerful. I could not bring my emotional body builder. To carry the weight of everyone else’s issues. The anchor of sadness dragged me deep into the marshes made of melancholy and i did not even fight the drowning. I searched under my bed for hope like it was a missing shoe. I went to wash my face in faith but despair clogged the faucet of love. I could not muster the strength of any kind. For that I’m sorry.
There’s a girl out there,
That doesn’t even know it rains,
Because the oceans hear rumors of her from the winds
So they beg the clouds for the favor of carrying them to where she may be.
I see her and think to myself
Stars fall from the sky,
To get a closer look at her smile
Because they thought there was nothing brighter than themselves in all the cosmos.
I took you to all my favorite places,
Now i can’t go to any of them.
All i see is visions of you,
swimming in my mind.
Running through book store aisles,
I’d try to snap a picture,
You’d refuse to stop moving.
I thought it was because
You were caught in the moment.
I should’ve taken it as a sign.
I was always trying to catch you,
And you always on the go.
So where do i go now?
When every place i knew,
Brings me thoughts of you.
I showed you my world,
You took it in your hand
Balled up your fist
Til everything turned to sand.
Now I’m here
Stuck with the debris.
Out of everything,
There’s just a piece of me.
I just need a woman in my life that’ll ask me
“i play with you?”
Say things like
“ahkekeke everything a joke to you”,
she start conversations with
“i just find it funny how...”
,and whispers in my ear at family functions “DO NOT f**kin embarrass me.”
So yesterday i turned 32 years old and I’ve been reflecting on my age, and charting where i am in my life and where i want to be since i turned 30. I’m at an age where self reflection is prominent in my life. I set goals every year and don’t really do my best to meet them if I’m being honest. Something that has been on my mind for the past month or so and keeps coming up in conversations i have with friends and acquaintances has been DISCIPLINE. That is something i recognize i lack and understand that it’s why I’m not getting the results I’ve wanted. So i have decided to dedicate this year to DISCIPLINE. It’s going to be a tough road but a necessary one for all that i hope to accomplish. Do you have issues with meeting your goals? Can you pinpoint what is stopping you?
Good morning all. Welcome to my very first blog post. It’s not really about anything just an introduction to myself and such. I’m sure some of you have read my artist bio and so you kind of have an idea of me and some of you actually know me personally so you really have a solid idea of me haha. This blog is meant as a form of expression for myself because art comes in many forms as we all know. There will be poetry, there will be observations, opinions, reviews etc. this place is just my thoughts, and sometimes my feelings dumped into this space. I’m open to conversation and hope some of you will share your own thoughts and feelings as well. Peace and love and blessings to you.
Im a 30 something year old that would be inclined to share some of my observations about life about love about everything really. disclaimer I do not have it all figured out so please don't take my observations as concrete. this is a place to open dialogue and have conversations so please respect me as a human.