Note to self part 1

Forgive me. I could not gather the strength, To wear that smiling mask. You know the one that fits so well. No one notices the tears welling in my eyes. They don’t look into my pupils and see my pain. Everyone calls me pleasant and cheerful. I could not bring my emotional body builder. To carry the weight of everyone else’s issues. The anchor of sadness dragged me deep into the marshes made of melancholy and i did not even fight the drowning. I searched under my bed for hope like it was a missing shoe. I went to wash my face in faith but despair clogged the faucet of love. I could not muster the strength of any kind. For that I’m sorry.